I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
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he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
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Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.