Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She'll never know what hit her

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.

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  (703): She'll never know what hit her (1-703): I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact. http://tfl.nu/fbuf
  Replies (2) Good night (1771) Bad night (619)
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  (646): View more from New York

  how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?

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  (646): how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses? http://tfl.nu/k5le
  Replies (69) Good night (762) Bad night (2307)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

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  (215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section http://tfl.nu/5gr0
  Replies (1636) Good night (170682) Bad night (43013)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?

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  (239): Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song? http://tfl.nu/r0ur
  Replies (5) Good night (2921) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like

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  (407): I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like http://tfl.nu/v7ql
  Replies (37) Good night (2128) Bad night (3251)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon

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  (910): So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon http://tfl.nu/hgw1
  Replies (17) Good night (4114) Bad night (1140)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.

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  (775): This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life. (1-775): Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life. http://tfl.nu/spac
  Replies (3) Good night (928) Bad night (3050)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?

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  (772): At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends? http://tfl.nu/7e4n
  Replies (20) Good night (2472) Bad night (2400)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip

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  (914): my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip http://tfl.nu/6k4u
  Replies (11) Good night (1654) Bad night (4765)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.

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  (425): I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it. http://tfl.nu/dgh5
  Replies (13) Good night (1049) Bad night (3251)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.

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  (603): whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card. http://tfl.nu/d7h9
  Replies (6) Good night (2657) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.

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  (662): Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse. http://tfl.nu/b0l0
  Replies (6) Good night (1601) Bad night (876)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.

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  (850): Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer. http://tfl.nu/iky6
  Replies (23) Good night (2800) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.

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  (909): I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird. http://tfl.nu/vyym
  Replies (9) Good night (1131) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.

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  (803): I don't trust myself to shower and not drown. http://tfl.nu/sha0
  Replies (3) Good night (390) Bad night (465)

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