this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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