drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
