Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter! http://tfl.nu/vj10
  Replies (9) Good night (2578) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how. http://tfl.nu/qfuo
  Replies (6) Good night (2521) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick (732): i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore. http://tfl.nu/4czg
  Replies (59) Good night (591) Bad night (2271)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween? http://tfl.nu/zwxr
  Replies (27) Good night (1099) Bad night (5053)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation? http://tfl.nu/9fzj
  Replies (7) Good night (3192) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance http://tfl.nu/c8s3
  Replies (34) Good night (1199) Bad night (4765)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.

  (1-661): View more from California

  What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up. (1-661): What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how" http://tfl.nu/sghh
  Replies (50) Good night (30342) Bad night (1246)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note. http://tfl.nu/4rpl
  Replies (47) Good night (13995) Bad night (1320)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great http://tfl.nu/5yg0
  Replies (8) Good night (1318) Bad night (3426)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world http://tfl.nu/o1nx
  Replies (2) Good night (902) Bad night (3065)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch http://tfl.nu/wbxj
  Replies (13) Good night (4119) Bad night (1443)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (229): She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather. http://tfl.nu/lq1l
  Replies (10) Good night (1208) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service? http://tfl.nu/aku2
  Replies (5) Good night (751) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird http://tfl.nu/qw9p
  Replies (5) Good night (750) Bad night (246)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat. http://tfl.nu/pqit
  Replies (10) Good night (1306) Bad night (390)

Randomize