If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.