Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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