is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect