I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.