There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
