Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
