I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize