Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
