i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
