i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
