I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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