At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
