gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
