so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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