I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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