Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
