Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize