I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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