I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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