This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
