He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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