Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
