Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize