I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
