I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
