STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
