I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Floor bacon is actually really good
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
