I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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