Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
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let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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