anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
