I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He did a backflip because drugs
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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