addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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