im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm bleeding and have questions
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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