still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
