im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize