Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
