Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
