he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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