so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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