Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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