I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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