i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
