If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
