apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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