I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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