I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
