i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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