You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
try to milk me bitch
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