were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
