whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So vagazzling was a success
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
