Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
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It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
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His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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