Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
