? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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