Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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