just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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