I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
