Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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