just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
