Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
