VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I will pee on everything he values.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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