his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize