in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
