its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
