Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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