he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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