So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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