Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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