i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
